We have all been there, some a few more times than others and some have had a few harsh ones that we finally got over.
But the main thing is we all realised. . .
W E S H O U L D N E V E R G O B A C K
. . . the same can be said for drinking.
Wait.
Heart break.
Wait.
Relationships.
Yes the same can be said for relationships.
For me it was one crazy night in Vegas, yes I know this is super cliche and typical and honestly how else would you start a blog that is mainly dedicated to horrible decisions not only in love but in life then none other with Vegas.
So there I was 24 and in Vegas with a friend (who might make an appearance into these blogs, but definitely has no relevance to this particular one) and we decided to go bar hopping and try out a couple of drinks.
Being a light weight I knew that this was obviously a horrible idea but decided to do it anyways. So 4 drinks down and I have somehow ended up drinking more varieties of alcohol in this one night then I ever have in my life.
I feel on top of the world, I can achieve anything that I set my mind to at this particular time and . . .
I A M A L I V E.
Like all good stories though, our bar hoping came to an end. So we decided to take this little party back to our room and continue to drink from the bottle (now if you think this is going to turn into some big old cringey regretty Vegas sex story, you would be completely wrong, that comes in a later blog) however the next thing I remember is waking up half way through the night full of shame and regret and then adding to that with a little self disgust when I looked down at myself and realise that no I didn't sweat myself to sleep after forgetting to turn the aircon on in my room that is literally located half way in the middle of a desert and yes I did piss myself.
Could it have gotten any worse right now?
However in my lowest minute as a person (and yes I have done some shady horrible things) I then had my most reliving moment (this does include the three different pregnancy test, I am glad you asked because I will be telling)
I D I D N O T P I S S M Y S E L F.
Thank f*ck.
I really just fell asleep with a wine bottle that had then spilt over me as slept, I didn't know whether to be more proud or ashamed of myself.
So like always I took the blissfully ignorant option and decided to be proud of myself.
There was plenty of time for shame later on.
So I grabbed the make do blankets that hotels get away with which is really a sheet and if you have ever been to a hotel you will remember how hard it is to pull that bastard from the bed.
So here I am, wined soaked clothes trying to pull a trap like sheet from a bed that already has someone laying on it.
I finally managed to free the sheet and continued on my journey for the coldest surface in the hotel.
Fast forward to . . .
2.00 am throwing up.
2.30am throwing up.
3.00am throwing up.
3.30am throwing up.
4.00am realisation.
4.30am throwing up.
5.00am throwing up.
Then that 'later on' that I have saved my shame for though rolled around real quick and in between all my throwing up and brewing of the ultimate hangover, a real nice realisation came to me.
All of this shame, pain, regret, hurt, confusion and sleepless nights that I had done to myself with a few too many beverages is exactly the same feelings that I had felt the first night I spent alone after my two year relationship ended.
It is also a combination of the feelings I felt when I broke the man's heart who loved me even though I didn't feel the same and there was also a few of those feelings the morning after I realised my extended one night stand had finally turned into just that a one night stand.
I guess what I am most trying to say is that this is the heartbreak hangover and this is me welcoming you to my page where we are about to begin on a journey of heartbreak, some laughs a whole lot of regret and hopefully some comforting words that I would have loved to read when I was going through all of mine.
You are loved and you are not alone.
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