Okay so here we go again bitches.
We are back at it.
No hesitation, let's smash straight into it.
Imagine knowing a guy for a really long time, I don't want to bore you all with the details but I do need to set a scene here.
We met in year 8 both young and inexperienced we went to school together and I knew I liked him from the moment I had lied eyes on him.
Fast forward to the end of year 8 and we finally got together.
Boyfriend and girlfriend.
I was so happy, it had been a long year I had watched him date other girls on and off in my year (red flag I know) and now finally it was my turn.
But I knew it would be different I knew all along that he liked me.
L O L
Honestly as I write this and remember back I can not help but laugh out loud. I was the dumbest bitch I knew.
Anyways fast forward through our relationship that lasted about 2 months with most of that being spent on school holidays and not even seeing each other.
So now I am going to hit you with the cold hard facts.
Yr 9 he moved away we used to talk on msn.
Yr 10 he came him toward the end of school and we spent the entire summer together. Had a nice little summer fling.
Yr 11 he went back. I swore I was done with him forever.
Yr 12 I had moved on and was seeing someone else and not giving a fuck about him at all.
So now let's get to a point in the story that makes the juicy point even more juicy.
It was the end of Yr 12 and I was young and hot and ready to get on out there.
It was the end of Yr 12 school holidays and trust me when I say summer wasn't the only thing that was heating up this year. A group of friends in my year had moved into their own house in town and that really just meant that all of us had moved in there as well and every weekend had turned into a party.
It was just our classic Saturday night however I was late to rock up to this casual gatho.
So here I was thinking that I was all that and looking good, ready to have another great night with my friends and then as I walk in not thinking of anything ready to start my night, I look across the lounge room doing the usual group hello and there he is.
Sitting on the couch owning the spot light like always and reminding me exactly why I have had this thing for him all these years.
The night went ahead no problem, I returned to my spot beside him and he returned to his spot with his hand in my pants. Even looking back surely I was not this dumb, like surely I could have seen the only thing that this boy wanted was what he had his hand rested against all night.
I think looking back to when I was freshly 18 the main thing that I wanted was that he wasn't interested in anyone else so I guess he fell right into the trap.
Anyways the night went on and surely after an entire 5 years of pent up sexual frustration this had to be the night. Finally we had to get down to business.
He comes home with me and we fall straight into bed, kids pretending to be adults both acting like we know what to do, like we know where things go and that this is what feels nice.
We both had no idea.
So we wrapped up in the sheets and our legs are tangling together now I was a little cautious I hadn't really walked down this path many times before and was unsure exactly what I was going to find when we hit our destination.
But just like a flight from Gold Coast to Sydney it lasted about 2 seconds and I was already being let down.
So that was that, he was done and oh boy I was D O N E.
Lets fast forward to another 5 years down the track (and yes it is crazy to think that I have known this boy for so long) and we are both back in the same area and like always gravitating back towards each other.
It was a Friday night and it was late and this was back when I was not making great life choice for myself.
Beep beep
My phone is loud and like an alarm beside my ear, but surely it is not time to wake up yet, I just went to sleep.
Beep beep
There it goes again.
Can you come get me?
I was out of bed quicker then he was at cuming the first time we had sex.
But we were older now, we were actually adults and we were on.
So I go and pick him up and we crawl into bed together.
Now I would like to say that this is where this story goes but it isn't. So for the next few weeks We did the usual midnight pick up and half shitty half good sex for a little while. The we got to the night of all nights.
So let's get straight down to business.
And that's exactly what we were doing, getting real hot and heavy and things were starting to get a little crazy. I was into it, he was into it then all of sudden . I hear him say something but I didn't really here what so I sorta just brushed it off pretending it was something sexy, well I guess it was.
Caus next minute he was saying it just a tad louder.
"Call me Daddy".
I am sorry what?
I said "call me Daddy".
Yeah like no thanks I am good.
But just for good measure the next words that came out of his mouth were:
"Damn Mummy"
I mean.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
I have known this boy since he was 13 years old and the next minute he got me all wrong calling me mummy and wanting me to call him daddy.
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK
I thought he had redeemed himself since the first ever time all those years ago and then he got me twisted wanting me to do this. Like don't call me Mummy I've meet your mummy.
I was honestly throwing up a tad in my mouth it was fucked.
After all that:
I still did it though.
Look I am not going to sit here and lie to you about my story or only tell you it half way.
I did it.
Then that original thought of throwing up in my mouth pretty much came true. You know that point when you are giving head and you decide to push a little further caus you are into but then you remember that you still have that gag reflex so you stop yourself just before you start to heave.
That was me.
I knew right then and there that this was not for me and not a lifestyle I was prepared to live. The only time you can call me mummy is when I am having your child and seeing as this was not for me in the bedroom it sure as hell was not going to be for me in the real world.
So obviously the real world got involved and this fizzled pretty hard and quick, no bad blood on either end but a shit tonne of laughs between me and my friends. We actually still talk about this moment regularly.
The funniest part to this whole story though: pretty much three months and one day later his current girlfriend (who he had being seeing at the same time as me, another story another day) announced that she was pregnant.
So I guess we know what she partakes in the bedroom. Or maybe now that they are parents the fantasy is blown?
Either way another bullet missed.
Comments